Tuesday, September 09, 2008

It's about that time.


I generally hate the idea of "they don't make 'em like they used to." Usually that just isn't the case. The grass always seems greener on the path behind us. Our world, for all its foibles and flaws, is better now than it has ever been.

However, they just don't make ads like this anymore. Brilliant!

I'm looking forward to the day when I earn my cane and daily dose of thorazine. I swear I'm going to forget to take those pills as often as possible, so I can run through the nursing home swinging at visitors and staff.

And you'll be able to hear my cackle all the way in China when they threaten to put a straightjacket on me!

Weirdomatic via Consumerist.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Grammarocide

These two men plead guilty of conspiracy to vandalize government property after a cross-country spree during which they defaced public signs by correcting typos. The men are members of the Typo Eradication Advancement League.

I'm awed and inspired by their temerity. Bravo boys! May your probation pass quickly.

Via Apostrophe Abuse.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Long Time Gone

Above: Jerry, me, and Matti at Coney Island yesterday.

We rode the Cyclone and the Wonder Wheel, which you can see in the background above. It's truly remarkable how excellent the rides were back in the day, before there was the technology to understand how dangerous they were!

Wow, what a Summer.

I have started several update posts. Eventually one may be wrapped up enough to be delivered to you with a little yellow bow.

Until then, I hope you are enjoying yours!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

And in other news...

From the weekly newsletter at the law firm where I work:

Ron Smith and his assistant Jan Cooper will be joining our firm--moving date is Friday, June 27th....

Also, on Friday we will be acquiring a new fridge and dishwasher.

For some reason the Summer associate who sits next to me and I find this extraordinarily funny. (Names were changed to protect the guilty.)

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Never forget you.

My apologies for the blog silence. To make up for it, here's a pic of me at IML this Memorial Day weekend. Maybe I'll actually report on it at some point.

There are tons of events going on in NYC this Summer, starting especially next weekend with Leather Pride.

And mark your calendars, the July NYboL party is TOGA, a frat party. Fun!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

This one goes out...

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


This one goes out to everyone who uses smilies and terms like "lol" in the place of actual phrases with words while instant messaging.

Smilies are spice, not substance! If you respond to an IM of mine with only a smiley, you haven't said anything or moved the conversation forward in any way. Say something else.

The same thing goes for "lol" and its ilk.

Use your words, people!

End of rant.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

NYC AIDS Walk 2008

Above: the St. Mary the Virgin 2007 AIDS Walk team. I'm on the far left.

This is my second year participating in NYC's AIDS Walk. This year the Walk is on Sunday, May 15th. As you can see, I'm rather late sending this fund raising email, so I hope you'll log on and donate right now!

Again this year I am part of the team at my church (St. Mary the Virgin, Times Square) and our team goal is to raise $20,000. My personal goal is $1,000. My hope is that you will help me and my team far surpass our goals.

If you do, you'll be helping the Gay Men's Health Clinic and various other organizations which serve those with HIV/AIDS. I can't emphasize enough the importance of supporting these organizations, especially given our current administration's reduction of funding for...well...everything other than war.

I greatly appreciate even the smallest donation. $5 is great, and if each of you receiving this email gives just that amount, I will be well on my way to reaching my goal. Of course, greater amounts are fantastic.

You can donate by going to my personal fundraising web page at the AIDS Walk web site.

Or, if the above link doesn't work, go to http://aidswalknewyork2008.kintera.org/riotpuprex

This year the St. Mary's team will be walking early, on Saturday, May 14th, just after the noon Mass, because we'd all like to be in church on Sunday morning for Trinity Sunday. If you'd like to join us, just let me know via email or comment nd I'll send you all the details.

Thank you very much.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Gratuitous male beauty!!!

Above: the fantastically-named Brandon Hancock, who plays some sport, though I really can't be bothered to figure out which.

Brought to you by Hot Jock of the Day, a blog run by a friend of mine, which is celebrating its first year anniversary today. They've gone from 900 hits per month to 123,000 in just a year. Congrats guys!

Go check them out and drool.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Ritual.

Above: The Most Reverend Katharine Jefferts Schori, Presiding Bishop and Primate of the Episcopal Church of America, celebrating Mass at St. Mary the Virgin - Times Square during the Feast of Annunciation (transferred). I am a torch bearer, the baldy in the foreground, third from the left.

++Schori preached an excellent sermon which even pushed the boundaries of gender, at one point saying we should all be pregnant with God, as Mary was. I personally interacted with her almost not at all, but from what I observed I found her to be a very gracious, poised lady. Mass certainly went off without a hitch--something that is not so easily achieved at St. Mary's. The liturgy demands more of the celebrant than any other church of which I'm aware.

Liturgical trivia: the torches at Solemn Mass are normally balanced with three at the rails on either side of the altar. For only two people in the world, the Bishop of New York and the Presiding Bishop, we use a seventh torch, which always goes on the Gospel (left) side, as seen above. For every Solemn Mass at St. Mary's, the seventh torch is lit, so that when it is used it is the same height as the other six.

Below: the Invitation to the table.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

XYZ

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

One of these things is not like the others.

This quote is from a blog which I like and it sums up my feelings on Spitzer very well:

"[I]t's how Americans pick politicians. We want charismatic, ambitious, driven men . . . who happily go back home to their wives every night.

Riiight. Tell you what -- you find a guy who fits that order, and I'll go open up the tuna.

There are certain combinations that just don't go together, and it's stupid to pretend they do. We elect egotistical control freaks -- Bill Clinton, Michael Bloomberg, Rudy Giuliani -- and then freak out when they act egotistical and start controlling things. What, you thought guys like this actually waited for old ladies to cross the road? You thought they only slept with the chicks they're married to? Where's the challenge in bedding a woman who got a pillow embroidered with "Tonight's the night!" for a wedding gift?

We're breeding Rottweilers, and then we freak out when we find pawprints on our chintz."

Via World Class Stupid.

Friday, February 29, 2008

To thine own self be true.

Today I read an essay about Bishop Paul Moore, who was Bishop of New York for many years. It's quite long, but very good, and I recommend that you read it if you're at all interested in these types of things--or even if you're not. If your eyes are dry by the end, then I'm not sure what planet you're from.

Most powerful to me is not the fact that he was gay and his daughter has told the whole world about it. That's not terribly surprising, though I do commend her bravery.

What affects me is that I have known this man. Not Bishop Moore himself, but men like him.

Priests, monks, judges, doctors, lawyers, accountants, politicians...I have known them all. (No, not biblically, get your mind out of the gutter just this once, even if I can't.) They are all amazing men who exert influence over the world more strongly than your average guy. They make things happen. They heal. They give. They walk through the world surrounded by a n irresistible sphere of influence.

For the most part, these men use their power for good.

And yet they lived their lives in secret.

I have felt, all my life, that being out and proud--being all of who I am on all occasions--is critical to my mental health. Sure, I omit certain details on certain occasions. The biggest exceptions are my grandparents and my job, though the latter is arguably a simple matter of professionalism, as I'm not closeted, I just tone the personality down a lot.

These special men probably went further in society than I could because they hid their sexuality. In the process they attained positions where their unique ability to inspire was felt widely. They changed the world, if only just a little.

I'm not sure what my point is, if there is one. As I grow older and more of my dear friends leave this world, I grow less and less sure how to honor a life. I do, however, know for sure that these lives need to be honored and respected.

I did not get anything I have because of, or even mostly thanks to, my own merit.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Friday, February 08, 2008

It is not the critic who counts.

I don't get into politics much. Sure, I listen to NPR, I understand the broad strokes of most issues, I vote (usually for Democrats as the lesser of evils), and I occasionally raise funds or donate money to activist organizations. I don't spend much time reading about the details of the issues, debating all of it with my friends, or writing about it on my blog.

However, if you start dissing Matt Foreman, you're making it personal. I've been feeling a rant building up in my esophagus.

You see, Matt is a personal hero of mine. He is both brilliant and extraordinarily compassionate and kind, in my experience a rare combination. In the past year or two he has become a friend to me and to NYboL, which never ceases to amaze me, because he travels with great ease through the A-list scene of NYC gays. Most of those guys are perfectly content to stay entirely within their own strata. And he's not merely slumming it with us--Matt and his partner Frank instead have included me and my brothers in events which we'd otherwise never see. His focus on full inclusion of all types of queer people in our struggle for equal rights is incredibly courageous; the assimilationists at HRC have never had such balls.

So when some dude named Jamie Kirchick writes a disparaging essay about Matt, claiming that during his tenure leading the NGLTF he didn't really focus on advancing gay rights, I get mighty pissed. The man sat down in the middle of Broadway and was arrested there while protesting Don't Ask Don't Tell!!! Who among us has gone so far in recent times?

I'm glad to find that there are others out there who also find Kirchick's words to be ridiculous. To save me a rant, I'll refer you to Alex Blaze. I haven't a clue who this person is, but I am completely on board with his support of Matt and his criticism of Kirchick. Go and read it his piece.

I am sure that Matt is used to this type of thing and his thick skin is serving him well. Still, I am going to make an extra effort to thank him for all he has done, in the hopes of offsetting this dimwit conservative gay who some misguided media person decided to give a platform to spew erroneous negativity. I hope you will consider doing the same.

It is not the critic who counts
Not the one who points out how the strong man stumbled
Or how the doer of deeds might have done better.
The credit belongs to the man
Who is actually in the arena,
Whose face is marred with sweat and dust and blood;
Who strives valiantly;
Who errs and comes short again and again;
Who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions,
And spends himself in a worthy cause;
Who, if he wins, knows the triumph of high achievement;
And who, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly,
So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls
Who know neither victory or defeat.

-Theodore Roosevelt (1910)

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Smells like infatuation.

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

I admit it. This has totally been me on more than one occasion. I know, I know. But don't act all shocked! There's a reason this blog is called Couch Stalker. You knew what you were getting into.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

MALicious.

Above: Scott and I at MAL 2008.

Ah, MAL. It's one of the bookends for my year. I've attended every year since 2002. I know so many people there that I can't keep track of them all and have no hope whatsoever of remembering all the names. I generally eschew comparisons of the leather community to family, because it's a bit treacly and not really appropriate given my dysfunctional biological family. However, calling MAL a family reunion is not very far off base. It's a bucket full of fun.

This weekend I stayed with Scott, who lives only two blocks from the host hotel. Scott is my oldest friend who I still see regularly. We founded the KC boys of Leather, one of the first few boy clubs in existence, and I'm proud to say it's still going strong. We've traveled the country causing all kinds of scandal and havoc. We've laughed and cried together, succeeded and failed. We've fought like cats and dogs at times. We've always pulled through and were stronger for it. When we get together, it's like we never spent any time apart.

When I think of what it means to have a brother, I think of Scott.

Years ago, during a trip to Wichita, Kansas for a leather event, we got all dolled up in our matching Navy Dress Blues for an evening on the town. Naturally we couldn't pass up the opportunity to document the occasion. After a few appropriately stoic photos, Scott kicked his leg up in the air, I deftly caught it, and, grinning like idiots, we were rewarded with one of the cutest, gayest photos either of us has ever taken.

Last Friday during MAL we attended an invitation-only party at a gorgeous private home in Arlington, Virginia. Our hosts had a room set up with a professional photographer so all their guests could remember the occasion. After a couple oh-so-appropriate shots, Scott proved that he still has his high kick. It was fab.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

MAL, IML, and alphabet soup.

A NYboL associate whose blog I read and admire inspired me to write this post. It began as a comment on his recent post regarding MAL. Ultimately I didn't feel it was appropriate as a comment, however, as I am sure he is well aware of everything I have to say. My thoughts are more for the many others who I have heard express disdain or disappointment with the alphabet soup of leather gatherings.

Expectations are the worst part of leather events, if you ask me. When did it stop being extraordinary to see so many like-minded people, who spend most of their lives exercising severe discretion in exhibiting the particular nature of their individuality and personality, instead exalting and enjoying large volumes of those beautiful qualities which make them peers? Every time I begin to feel disappointed by MAL, IML, or the rest, I remind myself of the many years of my life during which I felt no kinship to any such group, no chance to meet a man with so many important qualities understood before the first exchange of words, and no understanding of those subtle yet powerful forces of my personality which have decided the direction of almost every part of my life. That I have the health and means to live a life which provides such opportunities is good fortune and success which many would envy.

I will be in DC for MAL. I cannot possibly be disappointed. The simple fact that such a gathering exists and I can be there is enough to make me happy, and as Drew says, everything else is gravy. I hope to see you there.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Monday, December 31, 2007

Ch-ch-ch-changin'

Every year when I write these updates it seems that I have just had my most dramatic year yet, full of the biggest changes of my life.  For once I think that I may have just had a year which won't be topped in the change department.

I will write updates soon on all of the recent developments.  For now, suffice it to say that I am in love.  It's an unexpected, un-euphemistic, uncomplicated, unquestionable kind of love.  It came out of no where and hit me sideways, taking me completely off guard, and not only am I defenseless, I can't think of a single reason to slow it down or stop it.  I never would have expected the year to end like this, but I'm very glad it is.

I am very happy and hopeful.

Thank you to Dave, for knowing exactly when tough and tender love are needed.  Thank you to Scott, for constancy that spans more years than that of any other, and for being the most inspirationally brave person I know.  Thank you to John, for giving me my 25th chance (at least).  Thank you to Dale, Direktor Dave, Brad, Jerry, John, Blaise, Spiky, Jake, and Ray, for teaching me about the nature of friendship, new and old.  Thank you to Papa, who understands what makes a home.  Special thanks go out to Matti, who understands some things better than those who should be teachers, and who may have saved my life.

Best wishes to everyone for 2008.

Monday, December 03, 2007