As evidence that my father's family must surely be descended from Spartans, I present a photo from Christmas Eve 2006. As you can see, violence is encouraged early in life, and rest assured once the pinata breaks open, it is every grandchild, cousin, niece, nephew, aunt, and uncle to himself during the scramble to collect the most candy. Being the oldest of my generation in the family, you'd think I'd clean up, but let me tell you some of my cousins are big, muscular, (dare I say a little sexy?) brutes. I let them have at it; I can buy candy at the store and I care not a whit whether I return to the clan as king. I take after my mother's side of the family, the Croatians rather than the Spartans. I've no idea which child is demonstrating such fine form with a stick in the above photo, nor do I recognize any of the people in the background, but I am undeniably related to them all somehow. At least they're civilized enough to hold the Christmas violence in the basement; I won't frighten you with the photos of the decor upstairs, other than to comment that everything on the walls features Jesus somehow.
I'm feeling familial this weekend...more to come!